[funsec] 50 years

[Alex Eckelberry]

A little humor that's somewhat relevant. 
 
 
WHAT A DIFFERENCE 5O YEARS MAKE

 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++

 

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of 

July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant
bed.

 

1956 - Ants die.

 

2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with 

domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from 

home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list 

and is never allowed to fly again.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++

 

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

 

1956 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

 

2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. 

She faces 3 years in State Prison.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

 

1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up
best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

 

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge
them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

 

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

 

1956 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal.
Sits still in class.

 

2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of the amphetamine Ritalin. Becomes a
zombie. Parents get extra money from state because Jeffrey has a
disability.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

 

1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to
his car and gets his to show Jack.

 

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.

 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives 

him a whipping.

 

1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to 

college, and becomes a successful businessman.

 

2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to 

foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state 

psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad 

goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to
school.

 

1956 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal.

 

2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. 

Car searched for drugs and weapons.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

 

1956 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a 

special school for expectant mothers.

 

2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies 

the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion 

without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told 

to be more careful next time.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

 

1956: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

 

2006 : Pedro's cause is taken up by activists. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state
school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core
curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a
living because he can't speak English.

 

 



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